1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 2 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,996 (Grinding, whirring, banging) 3 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,230 What are they building? The noise! 4 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,073 They'll finish soon, we'll have a quiet Sunday. 5 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,071 (Loud grinding) 6 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,516 - Jesus. - We'll just have to blank it out. 7 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:45,517 Hi. Hi. Erm, I was wondering if you could do a book search for me? 8 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,273 I'm looking for a biography of Schubert. 9 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,909 So if you could hunt it up for me, I'll wait here. 10 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,600 What kind of coffee do you do? 11 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,275 This is a book shop, we don't do coffee. 12 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,590 - The other book shops do. - Listen, you... 13 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,636 (Drowned out by grinding) 14 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,030 This Schubert, this book search, how does it work? 15 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,636 Well, you know. You just... and it pops up. 16 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,957 We've a different sort of... 17 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,996 here. 18 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,435 Get on your knees. 19 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,476 Put your hands on the floor. 20 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:36,111 From where you are now to that far corner is our music section. 21 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,352 It's a bit mixed up with aviation, botany and pregnancy. 22 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,795 - Search! - (Thunderous grinding) 23 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,079 That is the kind of thing that is going to put customers off. 24 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,550 - (Grinding resumes) - Go and see when the noise will stop! 25 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,753 - (Grinding stops) - Well? 26 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,753 - (Grinding) - (Drowned out) 27 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,717 - (Grinding stops) - What? 28 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,031 (Drowned out by grinding) 29 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,076 Just wait! 30 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,230 (Grinding stops) 31 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,916 (Grinding resumes) 32 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,236 So what did he say? 33 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,676 He'll start again after lunch, it'll get worse tomorrow. 34 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,311 - They wake you? - Seven o'clock. I was doing my t'ai chi. 35 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,472 It's not actually illegal to kill a builder. 36 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,994 Hey, hey, hey! It's Sunday, right? 37 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,036 - Yes. - And we want to get away? 38 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,270 - Yes. - Why don't we... 39 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,193 go to the park? 40 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,273 Did that suggestion deserve the preface "Hey, hey, hey"? 41 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,154 - What about the cinema? - Let's see. 42 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,230 "in the trenches of the First World War." 43 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,709 - No. - What else? 44 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,876 Here we go - "Regression. 45 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,111 "Richard Gere kills himself to go into the past 46 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,829 "to rescue himself as a child so he can grow up to kill himself 47 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,514 "to rescue himself as a child so he can..." 48 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,750 - No! - There must be something else. 49 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,796 What's this? 50 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,156 "Blue Tunes. Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver." 51 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,038 - I hate her. - "Grouchy Leonard Blue 52 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,318 "runs a record shop with halfwit moustachioed assistant Danny." 53 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,038 Ha! 54 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,430 "When they team up with neurotic neighbour Pam 55 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,795 "things become a riot of laughs." 56 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,633 Where do they get this crap? A child could... 57 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,154 - They think we're idiots. - Wankers. 58 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,196 They all think they're great. 59 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,669 (Sighs) We have to do something. 60 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,592 Er, the usual, please. 61 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,275 - What is your usual? - I haven't decided yet. 62 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,557 I quite like the idea of asking for the usual. 63 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,189 Come on, let's get back. He must be gone, it's lunch. 64 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,236 The usual. 65 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,039 (American accent) Hey, the usual, please. 66 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,076 Er, usual, please. 67 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,755 (Posh accent) Can I have the usual? Usual, please. 68 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,476 (Whirring and banging) 69 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,276 We have to do something! 70 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,510 Let's go out for Sunday lunch. 71 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,511 - All right. - Where? Where? 72 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,912 There's this new place, very in - The Mortuary. 73 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,357 No vegetables, everything's dead animals on little headstones. 74 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,550 Why does it have to be fancy? 75 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,552 I just want sausage, mash and a bit of cake. 76 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,394 Not twigs fried in honey or a donkey in a coffin. 77 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,631 Let's go to that place that does chicken and things. 78 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,599 - OK. Oh, what shall we wear? - Excuse me? 79 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,399 - What sort of place is it? - A restaurant. 80 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,109 Shall we dress up or down? - You can dress upside down, inside out, 81 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,839 you'll still eat your spaghetti like a pig. 82 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,753 - Can we just go to lunch? - Give us a minute, 83 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,434 I have to get my contact lenses. 84 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,197 (Banging) 85 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,477 Ber... Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber... 86 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,551 Fix her, will you? 87 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:31,317 Ber-Ber-Bernard, they're building for two weeks, there's a sign. We can't stay. 88 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,073 - (Grinding) - I'll sort them out later. 89 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,799 - What are you gonna do? - What can you do? 90 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,836 I'll write to the council. 91 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,435 - What are you gonna say? - I'll say, "Dear Council... 92 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,152 "Please don't build beside us for the next two weeks." 93 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,755 - What if that doesn't work? - Yeah, what are you gonna do? 94 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,910 - Wanna know what I'll do? - Yeah. 95 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,673 I will... drink heavily and shout at you! 96 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,799 - (Grinding) - But I won't hear cos I'll be in Drillsville! 97 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,757 Then I'll write to you as well! 98 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,673 - (Grinding stops) - We'll have to go away. 99 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,070 It's perfect, it's a good excuse to have a holiday. 100 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,469 - Come on, we all need a change. - (Grinding) 101 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,278 We're not going anywhere! 102 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,113 - This place'll be hell. - I am not going on holiday. 103 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,430 - Wait. - (Grinding stops) 104 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,037 Look, look. 105 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,236 - What's this? - Photos of my trip. 106 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,709 Ooh, it's lovely. Is it Bali? 107 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,475 - Mauritius. Well? Well? - What? 108 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,028 They're like any holiday photographs, 109 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,033 people stood about squinting who didn't realise they were that fat. 110 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,557 That's us outside a restaurant. And that's us outside a hotel. 111 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,234 Whoo! What a transformation! 112 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,517 Oh, and - ha - that's Eddie, he was our map reader, 113 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,273 he's a gallery owner but, er, he lives in Kent. 114 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,634 This is the only one of the whole group. 115 00:06:55,720 --> 00:07:00,430 Probably one of the few times in my life when I've been truly happy. 116 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,275 Why are you showing me these? I don't know these people. 117 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,033 The only use this photograph would be to me 118 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:13,079 would be if I was a hit man and somebody asked me to kill Eddie, 119 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,230 the gallery owner from Trent. 120 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,390 - Kent. - I don't care! 121 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,436 - I'm not going. - Fine. 122 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,990 We'll go. You stay and get your head drilled to bits. 123 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,629 We are going to sunbathe, read, and have silly drinks on a beach. 124 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,915 Beach? No! I want the unknown - 125 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,515 mystery, strange places, snakes, jungle. 126 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,309 Manny, I am not going to spend my holiday in a snake pit. 127 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,868 - Shut up. Where's this sign? - Outside. 128 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,310 There must be somewhere that has jungle AND beach. 129 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,631 What do you do in there, anyway, in a jungle? 130 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,679 Well, you see how many miles you can walk in a day. 131 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,355 Yeah, but the heat - you must get so dehydrated. 132 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,672 Yeah, well, in a tight spot you can always drink your own urine. 133 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,548 Yeah, but what about the insects? And how do you wash? 134 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:09,192 That's not such a big priority when you're quaffing pints of your own whizz. 135 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,076 Excuse me, sorry. Could I just...? Thank you. 136 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,596 Thanks. 137 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,596 - Perfect. - I'll sort it. 138 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,513 Don't get ripped off. Book it after lunch. 139 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,556 Forget lunch. 140 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,235 - And I'm not going to Thailand. - You said you weren't going anywhere. 141 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,790 Doo-dah didn't say they're building round the clock. 142 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,836 So forget beaches and jungles, 143 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,674 we're going where I can read, sit, and have a quiet drink. 144 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,718 So your ideal holiday would in fact be here? 145 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,839 Correct. So find somewhere exactly like this. 146 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,309 With a jungle. 147 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,437 And a bit of beach? We're never gonna find anything. 148 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,990 Here we are - "The sunlit island of Saint-Honoré. 149 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,913 "A tropical jungle engirdled with golden sands 150 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,198 "boasting the hemisphere's only English book shop and bar." 151 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,670 - I suppose that'll have to do. - And it's got a website. 152 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,797 Manny, do the flights. I'll get the essentials. 153 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,111 - Where are you going? - To pack. Back in two minutes. 154 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,431 Right. Better get cracking. Get the suitcase... 155 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,353 (Whirring) 156 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,751 Right, what do we need? 157 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,434 What do we need? Ah. 158 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,193 Sun cream, first-aid kit, sunglasses, 159 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,635 cologne, and... yep. 160 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,671 Get rid of the rubbish. 161 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,670 Good, you're putting stuff in. Thanks for helping. 162 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,116 Phrase books, traveller's cheques, insect stuff... 163 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,350 - Music! - Music, good point. 164 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,796 - (Drilling) - CD player, CDs... 165 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,950 and... clothes. 166 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,639 Crap. 167 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,439 Crap, crap, crap, crap. 168 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,791 Right. And very important - malaria pills. 169 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,596 - Right. - Good thinking. 170 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,240 - Would you get the corkscrew? - Yep. 171 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,237 There you go. 172 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,595 Now, that's what I call teamwork. 173 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,355 (Crash) 174 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,756 - You done? - You've been ages! 175 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,796 What's in the bag? 176 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,839 (Panting) Oh, it's nothing. Just, you know, women's bits. 177 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,876 Walk away from the bag. 178 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,189 Manny. 179 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,069 No! Don't open it! It's private! 180 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,196 It's girls' things! No! 181 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,868 Just as I thought! Put her in the chair. 182 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,351 No! No! No! No! 183 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,596 We're here to help you. 184 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,591 You don't understand. 185 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,830 We understand that you're ill. 186 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,675 When you've learned to be sensible, you can have this. 187 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,232 - You don't really need these. - Of course I do. 188 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,276 They're my slow dancing mules. 189 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,716 And you don't need these. 190 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,112 I do. Suppose we're invited to a... yacht party by drug dealers. 191 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,076 Two pairs, more than you need. 192 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,720 Just one more! Take something else out. 193 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,839 No, contact lenses and emergency money, throw it away. 194 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,036 Erm, erm... Show me those. 195 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,315 Those. And those. Those. 196 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,440 You can take one pair. 197 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,029 Oh, I... I can't decide. 198 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,230 You can't make me choose. 199 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,675 What's it to be? One pair! Come on! 200 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,638 Oh, erm... Well, those ones are comfortable. 201 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,836 - Right, in they go. - No! Wait! 202 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,310 - Show me those ones again. - These are weird. 203 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,551 They are beautiful. 204 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,599 They make strong men cry in train stations. Put them in. 205 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,716 Right, well, that's your lot. 206 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,436 Bernard, got your passport? 207 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,476 For God's sake, of course I do. 208 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,596 Actually, I don't. Go and get it. 209 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:24,070 - Where is it? - Where does anybody keep them? 210 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,034 It's in the... building. 211 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,556 Bernard, go and get it. We all have to work together. 212 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,995 All right, all right. 213 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,036 So, we have everything? 214 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,238 Yep, let's just check the list to be double super-safety sure. 215 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,073 I'll stop you if we've missed something. 216 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,038 Right, OK. 1950s-style windbreaker 217 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,271 with two-tone lining and self-stripe cuffs. 218 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,272 - Sta-Prest peach slacks... - Manny. 219 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,316 Let's just say clothes. 220 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,039 Yeah, all right. Done. 221 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,874 We have traveller's cheques, insurance, Bernard's getting his passport. 222 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,315 Sun screen, insect repellent, phrase books? 223 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,118 - Jawohl. - Booked the taxi? 224 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,873 - Done! - Saint-Honoré here we come! 225 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,076 What time is the flight? 226 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,435 The... Hmm? 227 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,996 You didn't book the flights. 228 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,753 I'm so sorry, I got distracted by the... 229 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,796 And, erm... 230 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,992 My... my pants aren't that easy to fold. 231 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,956 Not a problem. It's on the net, you said. 232 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,996 Yeah. Easy, easy. 233 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,716 (Beeping, dialling) 234 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,270 (Data transfer noise) 235 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,356 OK, what's the name of the site? 236 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,592 Er, yeah, I know, it's, erm... Holiday... ding dot thing. 237 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:58,034 Er, no, no. Erm... Holiday at... 238 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,599 dot... 239 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,756 ...holiday. Quick, quick. 240 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,516 I wanted it to be safe. 241 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,396 Ha! 242 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,589 No, that's not it. This button doesn't work, look. 243 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,796 You are pressing my hand. 244 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,432 Manny, you must remember the name of the site. 245 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,476 Ah! Naughty little passport. 246 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,190 Hiding in the crisps again! 247 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,719 Manny, we have been doing this now for five hours. 248 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,472 Where did you see the name of the site? 249 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,869 - In the papers. - Which bit? 250 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,552 The travel section. 251 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,632 Which is open just there on the top, isn't it? 252 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,676 Yep, yep. 253 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,068 Could you read the ad out from the paper to me, please? 254 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,116 "Fly-Saint-Honoré. Com." 255 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,319 I had it in my hand. I wanted it to be safe. 256 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,396 I went over here... 257 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,075 - Where can it be? - Right, got it. 258 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,755 - Oh, Fran, you're a genius. - We can't go, I've no passport. 259 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,149 - Have you checked your desk? - What? No. 260 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,196 Oh, yes, there it is. 261 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,515 Right. Sorted. We've got a bargain. Better go to bed, 262 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,194 it's an early flight, saves us money. 263 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,919 - I'll get us up. - No. You can't be trusted. 264 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,231 - I'm staying awake. - Yeah, I'd better kip here. 265 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,073 - Can I have your bed? - Yeah. 266 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,789 - Got any bin liners? - In the kitchen. 267 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,672 - And, er, Dettol? - Under the sink. 268 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,476 - Ajax? - Yeah, just here. 269 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,278 Thanks. 270 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,477 Are you really actually gonna get in the bed? 271 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,755 - Yeah. - Right. Erm... 272 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,115 - Take these. - No, I'm not hungry. 273 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,510 No, it's not for you. Just chuck 'em under the bed. 274 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,797 What...? What's... what's under the bed? 275 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,836 Dunno. 276 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,035 We just call it the Thing. 277 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,994 (Bernard moans) 278 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,072 (Car horn toots) 279 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,995 - Come on, come on! - Come on! 280 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,832 Wake up! Wake up! Get up! 281 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,512 Cab's outside, come on! 282 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,670 Hmm? Come on! Hmm? 283 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,955 Final check. Final. 284 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,632 Good. 285 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,109 Good. Come on! 286 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,952 Come on! 287 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,270 Wake up! Get up! 288 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,076 Listen, there's a slight catch. 289 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,390 These flights are very cheap. 290 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,436 Four quid each. 291 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,476 Quite reasonable, yes. 292 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,028 So we have to make a couple of changeovers. 293 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:29,159 - (Bernard) How does that work? - Well, to get to the Canaries 294 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,196 we have to change... 295 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,430 (Clears throat)... in New Zealand. 296 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,636 What? That's practically in France! 297 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,632 - I know. - Why don't we just go there? 298 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,996 We could have sake at the rodeo and go home on a sled with camels. 299 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,036 We're just refuelling. 300 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,076 And then we change again at... 301 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,116 (Clears throat)... Stansted. 302 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,236 I've always wanted to go there. 303 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,471 - Nice, is it? - They've got these trains 304 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,676 that have no driver. 305 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,955 Ah? Have they? 306 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,474 We'll just be there for a few days. 307 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,516 In and around the airport. 308 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,752 - In, mostly. - That's where the trains are. 309 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,355 And then it's straight on to sunny Saint-Honoré! 310 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,149 (PA) 'Would passengers Black, Bianco and Katzenjammer 311 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,595 - 'please go to gate 4.' - That's us. 312 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,717 Wait, wait. Let's see if they do it again. 313 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,951 'Passengers Black, Bianco and Katzenjammer, 314 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,713 - 'please go to gate 4 now.' - (AII cheer) 315 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,589 It must be the last connection. We must be nearly home. 316 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,114 - Is this Prague? - I don't care. 317 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,475 I'm not getting on another plane. 318 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,869 I think this is Miami. 319 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,430 Fine. I'm gonna live here and sell guns to children. 320 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,637 - You liked Saint-Honoré. - I did! 321 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,598 I thoroughly enjoyed our four hours there. 322 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,114 You can't say the flights weren't cheap. 323 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,193 And you can't say we didn't spend 13 days on a plane. 324 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,271 574. 325 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,796 574 what? 326 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,348 I kept them all. 327 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,477 574 of these little towel things. 328 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,676 Let's get a drink. 329 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,716 This might be Nairobi. 330 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,395 No, it's definitely Minsk. 331 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,675 You're both wrong. It's obvious. 332 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,228 He's got all the trademark piercings. 333 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,355 Hakim yoba hara hakhyakh! 334 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,952 Uloddivisholov neinsbar. 335 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,756 (Clears throat) 336 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,673 Anvill kerrigan godean lethes. 337 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,674 (SIowly) Where are we? 338 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,070 - Heathrow, love. - Oh, hey, we're home! 339 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,470 Ohhh. Erm, three glasses of Merlot, please. 340 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,152 (Sighs) 341 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,199 Oh, don't look at me like that. Hey, it wasn't all bad. 342 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,319 How many people can say they've been on a hospital river boat? 343 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,359 And you can be sure they didn't get to operate on themselves. 344 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,193 Just as well they thought Manny was a god. 345 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,239 It'll be some time before I want to sacrifice another monkey. 346 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,596 We said we wouldn't talk about Canada! 347 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,591 Let's go home. 348 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,875 - Have you got your keys? - No. 349 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,396 I left them in the bag which you kindly lost. 350 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,436 Ah. 351 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,476 What do you mean, "Ah"? 352 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,437 Well, I think that... 353 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,476 my keys were in there as well. 354 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,358 Were they? Funny, isn't it, travel? 355 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,396 Just one thing after another. 356 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,789 - You're fired. - Oh, now, look. 357 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,952 And after I dislodge and return your thong, 358 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,679 I never want to see you again either. 359 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,519 (Grunts) 360 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,278 Do you want to jump? 361 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,999 - I came down gradually... - Get away from me! 362 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,756 It was a thrill to recreate with you but now our association ends. 363 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,628 You have brought nothing but pain, penury 364 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,950 and strife into my days. 365 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,271 I wish you good fortune in whatever avenue of life 366 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,828 you assault with your presence. 367 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,990 Here's your redundancy package. 368 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,674 Sorry it's in Phrenobian wooden dollars 369 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,796 but that's largely your fault! 370 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,314 Now, good luck and goodbye! 371 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,755 You can't run the place on your own. 372 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,796 I'll struggle on somehow. 373 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,271 No. I don't accept your apology. 374 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,794 Give it another 30 years. And take this with you. 375 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,075 - Bernard. - What? 376 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,833 - Do you want to come outside? - I'm cold. 377 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,992 I have got chilblains, tinnitus and thrush! 378 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,674 If you want to fight, come inside. 379 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,389 (Maniacal giggling) 380 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,830 (Simian gibbering) 381 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:21,557 The noise. Th-th-th-th-the noise! 382 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,676 B-b-b-b-b-b-but found it. 383 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,832 Found it! I found it! 384 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,439 Manny, could you look after the shop by yourself for a while? 385 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,715 - Sure. - What are you going to do? 386 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,876 I am going on holiday. 387 00:23:46,000 --> 00:24:16,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 388 00:24:16,050 --> 00:24:20,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0